 |
| My kids and I! (Vincent never smiles for photos! He's our biggest ham! ) |
I hear it often..."Your pregnant again? Surely, this being number eight you are done...right? Cause eight is enough!" We found out in March we are expecting again. This will put 5 years between Vincent and baby. 16 years between Valerie and baby due this November. To be honest with you, I am glad the Lord has changed my mind many times over the years. Had you of asked me right out of high school and in my early 20's I would of said 2 kids was all I wanted. After we had Kristen (4th child), Nate and I thought hard about not having any more children. We decided we'd wait until later on to make a permanent decision or maybe not do anything at all. Now don't get me wrong. While I didn't think we'd be pregnant again. I did think we'd have one more. You see, Nate and I had been planning on adopting. We got all the paper work in order that was needed to adopt a child from Colombia. My heart has changed forever after living in a third world country. I want to take this moment to share how my views on adoption had changed and encourage you to examine your hearts and see if the Lord might have adoption in store for you.
I always have enjoyed being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move inside of me. I love seeing how big I get and though there are times when it is hard, hot, and uncomfortable, I cherish the 40 weeks I am pregnant. It doesn't stop there. I love the stages of life my kids go through...well most of them, maybe adolescent years have grayed me more than ever. But, I am thankful daily that I can stay home with them all, and watch them grow.
Back in the States, I surrounded myself with like minded people. I have good friends who are terrific loving moms, and wives who encourage me. Nothing better than having wise women to look up to and desire for me to have the same godly fruit. This is where my heart changed. I have lived here now for almost 4 years. I have seen the worst of the worst. I have heard stories that for those who love kids would break your heart. I am a minority here. I can share my views of what motherhood should look like, but I come from a totally different lifestyle then the people here.When you are not in the majority group, you opinion can seem foreign. For example: family devotions, homeschooling, keeping our kids with us, playing with your kids, making rules for our kids to abide by, chores, sibling having love to one another. While I share my views often, some people here think we are funny always having our kids with us, and not letting them stay in the streets. Or not sending our kids to the public school here. Not letting our girls date now. The list goes on and on. I am no longer surrounded by like minded people. Thankfully, they do see good fruit from our children, though the majority attribute it to good kids...they don't see it's a process of training, love, and obedience to the Lord in us.
Daily, I see babies (under a year and a half) play unattended by themselves. I see neighborhood kids out all hours of the day and night playing with others in the neighborhood, but never their parents. No one to guide them, or explain how to treat others, no one shows them what is correct behavior. The parents are clueless to what goes on day to day in their children's lives. I see kids who are hungry, yet their mom tells them to share their meal with a sibling. I see little kids have more responsibility caring for their younger siblings than the parent or grandparent of their household. I just saw a baby sitting alone outside eating handfuls of pebbles, and her mom, when confronted said "Yeah...so?" I have seen babies who were once happy, grow through the years and become very distant, blank and expressionless kids. I have seen parasites crawling in a child's leg and moving around, but the mother would not spend $2.00 USD, for the medicine, which is sold here on the island.
 |
| Neighborhood kids taking care of their siblings. |
Today, I walked past two kids playing in our neighborhood even though they don't live around here. I asked them, "Don't you have school today?" (They have different school calendars here vs. the States) The brother and sister answered me both at the same time. The girl said "yes", while the brother said "no". I thought the boy's teacher didn't come to school therefore making it a day off for him. (Here it is very common for the teachers not to attend school for a variety of reasons. Many times due to being intoxicated. But that is another blog for another day.) I asked the little boy, Luis, "Why not?" His answer was "My mom doesn't have money." My first thought was why would that matter to a kid going to school. He explained to me that his mother had not bought him his book bag and school supplies for the year yet, which means he can't go to school. However school restarted July 13th meaning that he hadn't been to school in some time. These are simple things a child needs that are not given, not because the family doesn't have the ability to provide them, but because their parents, in their brokenness, do not think education is a priority. But trust me, I can paint a darker picture for you, child abuse, sexual abuse, increasingly high pregnancy rate of kids ages 12-15, kids who have never been to school, The list can go on and on. These are some of the many reasons I think about adoption. Here in this brokenness and lack of governmental support to enforce laws, kids are hurting and are not available for adoption. I would hate to see those children who are in the adoption system here.
The one thing, after living here, I have learned is: I along with many people I know could give a great life to a child who needs a loving family. It's not because we/they are rich. You are rich when you know what the true meaning of being a mother and father is. It's not providing them with designer clothes, or the many different sporting events, or activities to put them in weekly. It's not about what college you can send them too. It's about love! There is a cycle of brokenness that doesn't stop from one generation to the next that prevents the people here from changing. Maybe you can change this cycle. You can give a child what he/she needs. While many can say adoption is too expensive, there are ways to do it with out paying upwards to 10, 20, or even 30 thousand dollars. You can get involved with your local social service government system and become a foster parent, where many times it turns into a child needing adoption.
So I leave you with this, I am not sure 8 is enough. I am not close minded to say this is all the Lord has for our family. I do know this, The Lord has grown me over the years and has changed my heart for the better. To know I can give thanks to Him for all that I have and all we can give to our family. Knowing this truth is awesome. It is hard to see the stuff I see here daily. It is hard to see parents so broken, blind, and uneducated not have the wisdom I have to go on daily. It does make me pray! For my family, for the families here in Bocachica and around the world. Maybe the Lord will place on your heart the desire to adopt.
